5 November 2003

   It’s been a very long time since our last newsletter and many of our friends who have not heard from us may be wondering what happened to us here in Thailand. All the newsletters so far have been written by Carol because she is so much better at it than me. But for the past weeks she has totally immersed herself in writing a management textbook for our students ,trying to get it done before a new class arrives here in January 2004. So, I am going to give it a try:

   Much has happened during these past few months. It was the rainy season here in Chiang Mai but summer back in the States where we quite unexpectedly ended up from early July until the middle of September. It was July 1 back home. That was the day we received a call that the police found our son Marc dead in his Minneapolis apartment. At the time they could not tell us what had happened. We were stunned; we cried and held each other, we could not understand, could not believe it. We quickly packed a few things, got re-entry permits stamped in our passports at the Thai immigration office, booked a flight on Korean Airlines and left that same evening for Oklahoma where Carol’s mom lives. Mike, Carol’s son, had more information for us after we arrived. Marc had taken his own life by ingesting anti-freeze shortly after his 25^th birthday. We had no clue he was so severely depressed that he would do such a thing. A few days after the memorial service we cleaned out his apartment. Most of the other children were there to help. We read his long suicide note and later the journal he had left on his computer. He had been depressed for many years and had worked very hard to hid the worst of it from us all, family and friends. He didn’t want to burden anyone with his problems. His weight was over 300 lbs. He had medical problems. He did not see any future for himself or for any kind of close companionship. Suicide was the "only logical conclusion,” as he wrote.

   With his ashes and some of his belongings, we packed our car for the next month and a half long trip to visit all of our other children and their families: Angela in Battle Creek, Michigan, Stephan in Intercourse, Pennsylvania, Mike in Redding, Connecticut, and Michael H. in Durham, North Carolina, their husbands, wives and children. Our daughter Ryan, who is studying in Seattle, came with us part of the way. After a week she had to return to Seattle for one of her medical boardl exams. It was good to have time with our other children and their families, with our thirteen grand-children. It distracted us and made grieving a little easier.

   Middle of September, we returned to Chiang Mai. Ryan and her husband, Travis, came with us. They will be staying here for six months, perhaps a little longer. Ryan is in the middle of a community medicine rotation ( they call it clerkship here) at Chiang Mai University medical school. Travis is into photography, birding, and occasional trekking. He also works on website design with his laptop. Both want to do a good amount of traveling through Southeast Asia during their time here. They bring friends to the house. We go exploring together. Living with them is good for us.

   With a vengeance, Carol resumed her work on a management textbook. There are not enough funds available for our refugee students to buy their own textbooks. Even if they could afford to, most of the texts available are beyond their English-language skills. So her work is to put college-level material into very simple language. More difficult words are explained. She also allowed herself to be talked into teaching English to a neighbor once a week. 'Bonnie' owns the paper and office supply shop just around the corner from our house.

   Since our return, I still have not found anything strong enough to draw my interest. I read a lot, books on Buddhism, Burma, or Thai culture. I work some on the computer, tag along on day trips, take a few photos. In addition to continued work on speaking and listening skills, I try to master the very difficult Thai writing.

   Much of last weekend was spent at the nearby CMU Art Museum and wonderful Thai textile exhibition. Carol wants to write about it in our next newsletter. This weekend is our second Loy Krathong, festival of lights. This time, we have our own hot air balloons to light up the night sky. Following Thai custom, we hope to send our flowered wreaths floating away on the Ping River, carrying with it the saddness of this year and our hopes for next year. We are looking forward to it.

     P.S. The first picture is from an album our daughter Angela put together in memory of her brother Marc. The photo was taken the summer of 2002 during his visit to Fort Collins and the Rocky Mountains. It was the last time we were to see him alive. - The next two pictures were taken during the memorial service. In the last two photos Ryan is floating a krathong with some of her brother’s ashes in a klong, an irrigation canal, near our house.

Weather: This is the “cold” season. It is dry and daytime temperatures are around 80 degrees. Nights are often a bit cool and comforters or blankets are needed to keep us warm.